Woohoo, it’s Cheer Week! (and there was much rejoicing.) K, we started yesterday (Sunday) at 4.15 am because we had to be on the road by 5.45am and of course everyone needs to eat, shower, etc. So at 6.15 when Troy, the staff leader for this fiasco, er, I mean, inspirational trip (lol) bothered to show up, we were able to get going :{
Three and a half hours later we were in LaPorte, MN (3.5 hours, 2 wrong turns and 1 bathroom break) where we sang at the Kebkona Community Church. Nice place/people. Potluck dinner at which we, of course, ate far too much and I played pick-up with a six month old chubby cheeks. (for those who don’t know: pick up is the BEST GAME EVER as far as all tricycle motors under 1.5 are concerned – start with an object. The less fragile, the better. When the curtain climber drops it, pick up! Now giggle, clap, coo, drool and repeat! How can someone NOT love this game?) I think the pick up championships will be on ESPN2 this year…at least they should be. :)
3.5 hours, 2 sodas, 1 bathroom break and ½ a seat cushion (all I got for the trip) later we arrived in Minneapolis for Cheer Week.
MNTC has been planning Cheer Week for months. This is a twice-yearly gathering for TC which has been going since MNTC expanded to multiple campuses. 45 students from Brainerd and the 46 students from Duluth all truck in to Mpls for a week of special music, activities, guest speakers, etc. Bands are arranged for by coordinating schedules between managers on both sides. The same happens with the guest speakers including Don Wilkerson, Dave Wilkerson’s brother (Dave founded TC back in the "stoned" age).
One would think with all of this planning of activities, coordinating schedules, synchronizing calendars and eating toasted bagels with peanut butter, someone would have thought “Hmmm…where will ninety plus gentlemen sleep? Oh well, we’ll figure it out.” But noooooo, that manages to NOT cross anyone’s mind in any way. Soooo…
Cheer Week: Special Guest Speakers! The Best Metro Area Worship Bands! Fabulous Activities like visiting the Como Zoo! No Beds! No one in charge of sleeping arrangements! Scrambling from 5pm till 9.30 pm to figure out where the heck 90 men can sleep. That’s always great after 7 hours in a van. Yay, Me! :\
Yes, great fun! I did finally get a bed in a room with two guys, Tim and Luke, from the Mpls campus. They are nice, welcoming guys willing to put up with the interloper sleeping in the top bunk of their room. These men, at least the one on the lower bunk were very comfortable having me there…yeah, a little too comfortable.
But seriously, I am now waiting for chapel to begin. I’m probably going to get yelled at for looking at the pretty hookers ten feet to the right. No lie, we have been instructed to not even look at them. Have any of you ever heard how in biblical times the Pharisees were often referred to as the Bruised Ones? You see, it was considered impious to even look at a female. If the Bruised Ones glimpsed a woman coming in their direction, they would close their eyes tightly to prove their superior piety. It, unfortunately, is very difficult to navigate with your eyes shut tightly, thus, the Pharisees would often run into carts, walls, donkeys, each other, etc…or fall into potholes, dung, wells, doorways, each other, etc. Therefore they were called the Bruised Ones. And fine examples of piety and righteousness are who we are to emulate while here at Cheer Week. My head hurts. Wall there. :)
Chapel was good. Don had a good message about the keys to success. Yes, I took notes! :) The keys are Desperation, Decisions, and Surrender. Don read from Mark 5:24-34 and how out of desperation she came up behind Jesus to touch his cloak, pushing her way through the crowd. She didn’t care what those around her thought, she just needed healing and would do anything for it.
Don also spoke of the decisions we make, how they affect our lives, for better or worse. The decisions to follow Christ is foremost, of course. He talked how every day we stay in the program is one more good decision. We can choose to wallow in our misery, cry and complain about how our life sucks, or we can be Joseph and be Daniel. Say yes to God and see what He wants for our lives.
Then Don brought up Surrender, which of course, I am no good at! LOL. Galatians 5:16-17, 24-25. Sounds simple enough, doesn’t it? :P
Don had a great anecdote for surrender:
The naval vessel saw another vessel on its radar, which was directly in its path. The captain radioed the other vessel, “Alter your course 10 degrees S. This is Captain Jones, US Navy.”
The response was “Alter your course 10 degrees N, this is Ensign Peters, US Coast Guard.”
Captain Jones puffed indignantly: “I say again: Alter YOUR course 10 degrees south. I am a battleship!”
Ensign Peters replies: “Alter YOUR course 10 degrees north, I am a lighthouse!” :)
Sometimes we’re a bit blinded by our pride, which makes surrender that much harder. I’m trying to deal with this, too. I am trying to stay in this program and to do so I need to abide by the rules. My problem is I instantly reject any rules I see as pointless; and we have plenty of those. As I’ve said before, rules for the sake of rules. At the same time, we are supposed to submit to the law as long as it is not in conflict with the Bible.
It’s hard for me when the rule is inane, like the one glass of milk only, or snacks at this time, lights out at that time, etc…A student here injected into the conversation that none of us got here b/c of how well we were doing, how good our decision making skills are. I wasn’t doing great, I know, but I still don’t think I was doing so badly either. I just wasn’t making headway and I know why, which is why I’m in TC--One of the many fun sides to being voluntarily here instead of court-ordered. To hear it from TC staffers, I could hardly figure out how to put my socks on. So yes, my pride gets in the way! No, I won’t apologize for that – at least not right now.
Time for a break! We are off to the Como Zoo. Woohoo! At least it’s outside, and not in a van!
The zoo was fun, though cold. We wandered for about two hours, and then went back to the dorms for dinner. Had a little time before dinner to get to know some of the other guys in the dorm. They’ve been very welcoming and helpful, which makes it easier to invade for a week! :)
…sitting in the sanctuary again, waiting for the evening service to start and thought I”d write some to kill a bit of time. I’m watching the worship team practice. They seem like they’ll be good. Hard to tell so far…I want the bass. It’s a Washburn six string. Very nice :)
I must repent. The hookers, sorry, former working girls, just came in and I looked. Forgive me, I sinned. Crap! I did it again! Dang my eyes! LOL
Yet again, Don’s message was good! He started with the beginning of Passover in Exodus and talked about the Blood of the lamb saving the firstborn thus interceding between the child and Death; just as Jesus did later for all.
The focus of the sermon was “It Starts With the Blood.” In the Blood of Jesus Christ we are cleansed of sin, given power over sin, protection from sin and through our redemption we are able to also forgive others for wrongs they have perpetrated against us.
It is also fun to hear the little stories Don has of he and David starting the ministry; the foibles and whatnot. :) We watched a short snippet of a movie about the history of TC. When I was a young teen (12-14 or so, maybe younger) I read “Run, Baby, Run” the story of Nicky Cruz, the former president of the Mau Maus in NYC and how David Wilkerson’s street ministry reached him. Anyways, he was being interviewed on the movie clip – I had never seen a picture of him before, so that was cool; fun to hear his perspective.
On a different note, I’ve managed to stay out of trouble so far. Not that I’m behaving, but I’m choosing which rules and when for maximum effect. :) I figured out the schedule of guys going up and down the stairs at night so I can slip in with a group coming back up and not catch flack about having another soda (“Gasp! You just had one yesterday! Shame!! :) LOL.) As I said: silly rules for the sake of having rules. It quite often gives me a headache.
Today’s activity will be to visit the art museum. I’m looking forward to it, but amazing enough *dripping with sarcasm*, some of the junkies don’t want to go! Whatever is going on in this world when junkies don’t want to go to a museum? It’s atrocious. I thought this was the Cultured Junky Rehab Center…LOL. Seriously, it is funny to watch our staffers get upset b/c the guys aren’t excited about the “fun” activities that were thrust upon them. I’d love to remind them (being the upper management of Duluth TC) that if I shipped them three hours from home, rushed them from place to place with no written schedule and makeshift sleeping arrangements and then expected them to be pleased or even overjoyed about MY pick for THEIR entertainment, they’d want to hit ME with a stick!
Ah, a sad day indeed. The museum visit was a success –except for the stolen coffee. Yup, that’s right, the junky museum coffee bandits stuck again. The police will be notified, detectives will comb the grounds for clues (pun intended and yes, I know – it sucks! Lol) and Little “d” (that’s Dennis) will get to the bottom of it. :P Actually the cops weren’t called and Little “d” already has gotten to the bottom of it...hence, the wonderful lecture I walked into tonight before worship.
Little “d” was an eyewitness to the alleged theft in which I was 1) no way involved and 2) not a witness to, either. He apparently has a list of the perpetrators of the coffee heist, so naturally he decided to lecture everyone. The coffee-laundering scheme was ingenious (except for the whole getting caught thing :) ). One junky would go to the counter and pay for a coffee (self serve). Now the genious-ness: the junky takes two cups cuz coffee is HOT! Then he hands off the second cup! His accomplice can then perpetrate the crime by filling the second cup which was not paid for! Absolute criminal masterminds, I tell you! Of course the numbnuts proceeded with this plan even though they knew Little “d” was sitting right there watching! Idiots… The really funny part was listening to the guys complain afterwards about how unfair it was…as if they somehow have a right to free coffee? I’ve never found that to be the reality anywhere.
The students do have some interesting ideas as to what they “deserve,” or what is “owed” them. Most come from rough backgrounds, broken homes, addict parents, absent parents. Some have the rich, negligent parents and grew up with everything; therefore, now they want nothing or more. Some days it’s hard to figure them out as to what triggers one reaction in one student will have a different or opposite effect in another. Some are more like me, where a finger can’t be pointed to one obvious thing that could have triggered the “junky” gene. We’re just all jacked up! :)
There’s one student I can joke about anything with, but I don’t dare mention “mama” around him. Just like a toddler with the babysitter; mention the M word and it’s tantrum city.
Two others from Duluth cannot sit still. And I don’t mean they jostle their legs or something. They rock back and forth continuously (one front to back[F2B], one side to side[S2S]). Mr S2S does it sitting or standing to the point of our inability to tell he began walking as the movement of him standing still and walking is exactly the same! It’s humorous…
Most of the rest of the men (myself included) are at varying levels of healing, maturity, spirituality. I’m always taken aback when one of my peers in TC will go from a mature, rational person to a whining, tantrum-throwing child in 0.5 seconds flat. I like to think I don’t throw public tantrums, but I have to admit I do in my head. I get angry at folks when they don’t seem to understand what I’m trying to tell them, when I can’t get my point across, though I’m trying so hard. (interjection from Anne: yes, David, we know!) Especially when they’re interrupting, or obviously not listening as they’re already formulating their reply…I’m no good at dealing with people in that situation.
I went forward for the altar call last night just to pray about my anger/bad attitude. Not sure it really helped. I felt like I was trying to pray through a brick wall. I’ve been reading Joyce Meyer’s “Battlefield of the Mind.” In it she talks about strongholds being built in our minds by Satan. It makes sense to me that I’m trying to pray over, under, around, and through one of these strongholds. I’ve certainly given Satan enough time to build and fortify a few of them! I just keep praying and reading the Word. I know I’ll break through it all eventually.
Don's messages have been good. I've skipped writing about them for a day or so. He spoke on Darkness Tuesday morning, how there are two types of Darkness: We are walking in Darkness, lost and alone; or we are walking in the Light of Jesus and some temporary darkness clouds our life. The latter is easier to deal with as we know Christ is with us and calling on Him is easy (or should be) to gain comfort to walk through this Darkness.
The former is much more difficult for us as we may not know even how to call on Jesus for help and support. In this situation the Darkness can have such a strong, blinding hold on us we may not know where to turn.
Tuesday night Don spoke about our testimony, how it wasn't something we lived through and now spoke about, it's something we live every day. He talked about how we need to keep our testimonies as especially now for most of us it's all we have. Our credit it 0; our reputations shot mostly. Without our testimonies we have nothing.
Wednesday morning Don was on the subject of encouragement and how vital it is in our walk with Christ. The right word at the right time can really life a brother or sister in Christ up. At the same time, no words or cruel words can much more easily bring someone down, hurt the faith they've built up, drag them back into their old life and habits.
He talked mostly of Barnabus and Saul/Paul in Acts 9 and how Paul was in a vulnerable spot with the Jews but Barnabus spoke up for him. Without Barnabus' endorsement, they would have killed Paul b/c of his history of persecution. They didn't believe God had transformed Paul on his trip to Damascus. Paul stuck to his testimony and Barnabus came in with the encouragement to Paul and endorsement of Paul to others. We need to be doing this in our own lives for others; helping to build each other up, not tearing others down.
Wednesday night was focused on our growth as Christians and how important it is for us to continue to study, learning all we can about Christ.
The core values of TC really reflect that subject: prayer and studying the Word. Through those we can both grow up in Christ (Ephesians 4;11-16) and grow in our faith by knowing the Word through studies and prayer, thereby growing into the Armor of God (Ephesians 6;10-18).
Don raised the point that Salvation is more than just the forgiveness of our(my) sins; it is our willingness to go out into the world sharing and showing the love of Jesus.
We have to continue growing in our faith. We're either in gear, moving forward or we're falling behind; there is no coasting. Especially for us junkies (LOL) as our slippery slope tends to go down a lot further than your average person (can we say "expressway to hell, what?!")
Don also closed with the point that we need a teachable spirit; stubbornness will only lead to our downfall. And Sam from Brainerd opened this morning (Thursday) by comparing our hearts to a field. A dry, cracked (i.e. stubborn) field will not reap the benefits of the rain, while a freshly plowed field (i.e. teachable) will absorb the rain allowing growth. And prayer is the plow; studying the Word is the rain! I love that analogy! Provers 5:12-14 also puts it quite succinctly.
Totally separate issue: I've been writing things down (both here and in other lists) which I found counterproductive or just wrong with the TC system. It was suggested to me I could do this and get it delivered to the highers-up here in Mpls to see if things would change. After spending a week here, I realize it is no better here! The same or different problems exist, and most are caused by a lack of managerial experience among the highers-up in the MNTC program. I was talking with a staff member and he agreed with me--his thought was when hired, people brought into these positions were tried more on the basis of their faith than on their actual ability and experience to do the job they were hired to do. I can't disagree!
I spoke with Carey about this. He agreed that faith is obviously important but put the proper gifts and talents in the proper place! I joked about how it's the same as me hiring a new drummer. Hypothetically, he's been a Christian for over twenty years, has the entire Bible memorized (I said it's hypothetical) and has an amazing/knock-you-to-the-ground testimony which you cannot ignore the Holy Spirit moving during. Sounds perfect, doesn't he? Of course he does! He's hired! Starts Monday. Oh sure, he's a quadriplegic, but what a testimony! See what I mean?
Thursday morning I had a bit of a breakthrough. The worship team had just finished and Don was opening with prayer. At the end of the prayer he asked those of use who had already accepted Christ but had other hang-ups to remain standing. Then Don asked the staff, ministry school and senior students to pray for/lay hands on those still standing and to specifically pray for us to surrender to God. I stayed standing and soon had five or six folks praying around me. I could feel the Spirit moving me and then I was bawling and on my butt on the floor. I was just saying "take it, take it!," except when it came to my music. I still balk at giving it up. I know I probably won't have to, that God will use me even more through music, but I still need to be willing to give it up. I just can't; it's been me so long...with music I'm creative, artistic, emotive, eccentric in an odd but good way. With music I'm able to dance and worship and love. Without music, I'm just a drunk. Forgive me for not wanting to risk giving it up.
Anyways...
Thursday morning felt like a start. I'm praying about it; I do want more, just scares me.
Don's messages were good. In the morning he spoke about remembering. Remembering Jesus' sacrifice, what He saved me from and the work it took for Him to bring me out of my own personal Hell. He illustrated with II Samuel 19 and how David was basically being a whiny brat, lol. David was so lost in grief over Absalom he mistreated everyone else and was in danger of losing his kingdom.
Don's closer was Thursday night. Entitled "Reclaiming Your Voice," he spoke about our faith and being reborn in Christ.
Don pointed to Luke 7:11-16 and the resurrecting of the widow's son. I like verse 15: "The dead man sat up and began to talk and Jesus gave him back to his mother."
In the midst of the world, our problems, our addictions, we are dead. Through our faith in Jesus Christ (acceptance, repentance, etc....) we are resurrected and given back.
Getting our voice back is hard, going along with keeping our testimony. We need to burn the bridges that lead back to our old selves (again the music thing...freakin' me out).
Through faith we gain our voice. In Luke 1, Zacharias doubts the word of God and is struck dumb (and possibly deaf, too) and only when the word of God is shown through Zacharias (i.e. he accepts and believes) does he regain his voice.
When Jesus looks on me and commands my dead self to "Arise!," I get my voice back. With it I will praise Him. Even I'm begining to question why it's so hard for me to give up and give to Him all of it, music included! My blood pressure spikes just thinking about it! :)
In the end, Cheer Week was good, at least as far as the worship and sermons went. All the other stuff (like no beds) seriously detracted and distracted from the overall effectiveness, but it was a good time.
As a side note, on Thursday night for the testimony call, Josh (from Duluth) got up and gave his in the form of a rap! I was nervious for him and sat in the back praying the Spirit would move through him and He did! Josh got a standing ovation from about six hundred folks here. That is so good for him as he's an alcoholic/meth-head/schizophrenic with no self esteem or social skills! He done good!
Ok it's now a week later, Monday afternoon (4.20.09). Last Friday was interesting:
MNTC had their annual fundraising gala. Guest speakers and the whole TC choir, four hundred forty of us! Normal management issues had us standing for two hours on stage for three songs (no exaggeration) not to mention the hour before in the lobby waiting to come in and the half hour afterward waiting for the vans to pick us up :(. Legs were a touch sore...(I must restate the face that the above hour figures are not an exaggeration and yes, it was ridiculous! lol)
The worship team got to play again Wednesday morning for chapel and again in the evening for graduation. It went well and we all felt blessed to play! The worship team has some opportunities that definitely need prayer.
While the worship team is obviously not our reason for or the focus of being here, I definitely feel lead to be doing this/leading the WT. Little "d" is skeptical, to put it nicely. It doesn't help that one member (who was put on a break last week from the WT) took ten Xanax and stayed stoned out of his gourd for three days a week ago. :( He didn't get kicked out of the program but he did have to restart Day 1, Level 1.
That just reinforecd Little "d"s trepidation; I just asked him to pray about it, as I'm asking the WT to do and now everyone reading this.
I just want to know how hard to push the WT, how far, how much energy to put into it. Obviously it's secondary to all classwork and what-not here, but beyond that?
A prayer of praise:
MNTC hired Charles as a regular employee! The guys are quite happy, as am I. Charles is a good teacher and counselor, and already has a good rapport with the students here. Thank you God!
For myself: TC is changing the curriculum, meaning Level 1 will not be 12 weeks instead of 8. If this applies to me (which it may) that is another month before I can get out of here on a pass. I'm already going battty and they want to keep me locked up for another month! Hide the sticks!
Enough!
This blog entry is way too long (sorry, Anne!). There is more that happened last week but I'll do that in the next entry.
Thanks for the prayer so far and please keep it up, I'll need it! LOL
I love and miss all of you - Dave
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Blah, Blah, Blog (from Facebook dated 4.10.09)
(a disclaimer - Anne was super slack in getting this on line this week - I've had it since Saturday but just today transcribed. We're (mom, dad and I) going to see Dave tomorrow so I'll do what updating I can about "Cheer Week.")
I don’t recall what day I left off at, but it doesn’t really matter. I’ve decided to not complain about TC as all that does is annoy me greatly (and probably those around me!).This conclusion wasn’t too difficult to reach upon a bit of reflection:1) Most people here are court ordered and have no choice, as they are facing jail/prison time if they don’t complete the course. Therefore, the people in charge however well-intentioned have an inordinate amount of power over the inmates here.2) Many of the aforementioned inmates have little to no discipline whatsoever, so many of the rules we live under are there simply to fill the void. However unnecessary there can be NOTHING unregulated in here. I’ve recently discovered the only beverages allowed other than the milk, juice, and coffee served in the kitchen is water and Emergen-C. Supposedly, Emergen-C is good for us while Kool-aid is not, so that is the only drink approved by TC. Personally, I think someone listened to too much Paul Harvey (RIP, bud). They probably have a BOSE Wave stereo too, suckers! LOL3) Finally, the only thing I can depend on in here is that nothing can be depended on if MNTC staff has anything to do with it. Especially the schedule, as the nicely laminated versions hung in public rooms in no way, shape or form reflects the actual schedule we live under.
To say life is interesting in here is to say the ocean has fish. Not quite descriptive enough…I’ll try to fill in some blanks. I’m in Teen Challenge, a treatment center, faith based, Christ centered, but still a treatment center for addictions. I’ve had one counseling session since entering two and a half weeks ago, and that was group counseling. The next one is scheduled for next week. They’ve also let me go to Celebrate Recovery once but not last night. The director’s home church is under construction so he decided to make working on a crew at his church mandatory for everyone here. When asked, we were told by him that we needed to learn the value and ethics of hard work (where’s my stick?! Y’all do me a favor: find one person in this world who could honestly accuse me of being lazy and be justified in doing so and I’ll stop taking offense at Herr Direktor’s comments (I’m not smiling as I’m not joking).When asked about the whole “treatment” thing, I was told to trust in the Holy Spirit to take care of the problem. I also heard the comment from a staffer: “if you’re here for treatment, go someplace else.” He did follow this up with “we’re here to meet Jesus.” I’m all for bible study and I love hearing more about Jesus but I’m sorry, bud: I’m here for treatment! That’s why this is called a TREATMENT CENTER!!! morons.
So apparently their version of treatment is to have me attend a two-hour class in the morning, do a half-hours worth of homework, then work on the work-study program (this is cleaning and maintaining the building again, learning how to do basic chores, basic maintenance, being “responsible.”) And of course going to Herr Direktor’s church to build it (he is not helping, he’s just sending us).
At some point, God Apparently will get fed up and intervene, sending the Healing Holy Ghost to take away my affliction at which point I will be slain in the Holy Spirit, receiving my first dose of Holy Ghost Goose Bumps and then I will truly see how the only thing I’m at fault for is being an addict. Everything else is Satan’s fault.Have I mentioned they’re a might Pentacostal in here? Ain’t seen any snakes yet, but I’m waiting…
So Dave, what keeps ya in there? The doors are open from the inside. I could leave, just walk right out. I could, but everyone knows I need to sober up and though I think this place is jacked up mostly, I’ll stay. For the most part this is a year off from life in general; all I have to do is keep my head down when it comes to the rules. Sucks cuz I’m not good at that, but I’m tryin!
We’re still studying Ephesians 6:10-18; the armor of God. That has been interesting so far. Our discussions have covered how to prepare for spiritual battle, what those battles entail, and the nature of the war itself. Like that the war itself was won by Jesus dying on the cross and rising again. But Satan is still waging a guerilla war of terror and skirmishes against Christians everywhere, hence the need for battle preparation.
We also are studying the Proverbs, one chapter a day. Convenient as there are 31 chapters, so Proverbs fits well into the calendar.
Yesterday I was asked to lead the worship service this morning (Wed) as the first ever live worship group for Duluth TC. I was able to get three other guys to join my efforts and I even managed not to tick them off during the process! We played “Holiness,” then “Life Song” and finished with “Breathe.” It went well and we were asked to do it again on April 15th, so that is cool. We are going to keep practicing regularly to be ready any time they want. I’ve also received many comments on how the guys preferred the live band instead of the CD we usually use, so maybe this could become a more regular thing? Who knows. Gotta keep from hitting folks with sticks! LOL.
Carey (Pastor Carey Vik) and Steve (Pastor Steve Cornelius) stopped in today to visit. It was quite fun sitting and conversing with the two of them. Good laughs and not all were at my expense! :) Quite nicely, they brought a 6-pack of soda for me and some of Jana’s homemade cookies (Thanks Jana!) They also brought me a Sony CD player and three CDs!!! It’s very nice to have my own music again. :) That is especially so as we’ve a road trip coming up next week.
Spiritual Emphasis Week. That sounds too much like “spirit fingers” therefore hereafter it shall be referred to as Cheer Week. Gimme my pom-poms and shut up! :) We leave Sunday and will be coming back Friday. Onwards to the Twin Cities for prayer, testimonies, worship and inspirational speakers; and absolutely no talking to members of the opposite sex. Yet another TC rule, not just for Cheer Week! Somehow I think I’ll probably get in trouble next week. I won’t be flirting (yeah: “hey babe, how ‘bout you and I ditch the rehab thing and catch a drink? Oh really? You were a junkie hooker turnin’ tricks for drug money? That’s cool. My liver is now concrete, my kidneys haven’t worked since the Clintons reigned and did I mention I’ve no job?) Yeah, that’ll work. LOL
I’m interested to see how they manage to haul 46 guys 3 hours in a van with no refreshments/food allowed. I see a fistfight coming.
After Carey and Steve left, momma showed up with the steaks we’re donated for Friday’s dinner. She also brought cokes for everybody and some extra snacks for me (string cheese; yay!) The guys asked at dinner if it was me that got the steak for tomorrows’ meal and I wasn’t sure how to answer. I hadn’t wanted to say it was me. I’m not doing it to buy friends, I just wanted a good steak and as they won’t let me out of here for another month and a half to go to a restaurant with friends, I just thought I’d get the steaks here. But apparently the cat’s out of the bag. Oh well.
We had two guys leave this week. Antwon walked on Monday, didn’t say goodbye, just walked out. And Scott, who I’d hoped would play drums for my worship team took off this morning and came back this afternoon obviously having had a few drinks. He was just stopping in to say he wouldn’t be staying. Too bad, he’s hopeless when he’s drinking; as in no work, no bath, no clue drunk.
Which brings me neatly (like the segue?) to the people of the prayer list:
Scott & Antwon: I guess that God would protect them and guide them to the help they need.
Pastor Rachel: She’s still going through rough times at home (details are unknown) and her workload is intense. Strength, wisdom and comfort to start sounds good to me.
Carey’s sister: She went back to the hospital today. She had a panic attack this morning and they may keep her for a bit. Carey’s looking into TC in Mpls for her. Maybe it’d be good? I dunno. Mixed feelings there. She needs comfort for sure and healing. I’m praying God will just put angels in her path with what she needs and that He’ll open her heart to receive that healing and help.
All of us here in “lock up”: As we head out to Cheer Week we’re praying for a safe journey, and that God will open our hearts to receive everything we need through His Holy Spirit.
I’m still fighting everything. I’m at the tail end of 3 weeks here. Only 39 left to go! (If they try to add extra time I’ll probably just leave. They’re getting a year – that’s plenty!) But I do need guidance, strength, comfort, wisdom and patience in trying to stay in TC and aptly running the new worship team. (Job training, what?! Dad’ll be so proud…) LOLOh yes: I’ve been invited to run sound for the Spring Jam and I’m hoping t not just go to run sound but to be able to bring the guys with too as a field trip. The Jam is May 9th so please pray on this too. The TC staff could really use a touch of Generosity Lord! Please?! :)
I love and miss all of you – David
I don’t recall what day I left off at, but it doesn’t really matter. I’ve decided to not complain about TC as all that does is annoy me greatly (and probably those around me!).This conclusion wasn’t too difficult to reach upon a bit of reflection:1) Most people here are court ordered and have no choice, as they are facing jail/prison time if they don’t complete the course. Therefore, the people in charge however well-intentioned have an inordinate amount of power over the inmates here.2) Many of the aforementioned inmates have little to no discipline whatsoever, so many of the rules we live under are there simply to fill the void. However unnecessary there can be NOTHING unregulated in here. I’ve recently discovered the only beverages allowed other than the milk, juice, and coffee served in the kitchen is water and Emergen-C. Supposedly, Emergen-C is good for us while Kool-aid is not, so that is the only drink approved by TC. Personally, I think someone listened to too much Paul Harvey (RIP, bud). They probably have a BOSE Wave stereo too, suckers! LOL3) Finally, the only thing I can depend on in here is that nothing can be depended on if MNTC staff has anything to do with it. Especially the schedule, as the nicely laminated versions hung in public rooms in no way, shape or form reflects the actual schedule we live under.
To say life is interesting in here is to say the ocean has fish. Not quite descriptive enough…I’ll try to fill in some blanks. I’m in Teen Challenge, a treatment center, faith based, Christ centered, but still a treatment center for addictions. I’ve had one counseling session since entering two and a half weeks ago, and that was group counseling. The next one is scheduled for next week. They’ve also let me go to Celebrate Recovery once but not last night. The director’s home church is under construction so he decided to make working on a crew at his church mandatory for everyone here. When asked, we were told by him that we needed to learn the value and ethics of hard work (where’s my stick?! Y’all do me a favor: find one person in this world who could honestly accuse me of being lazy and be justified in doing so and I’ll stop taking offense at Herr Direktor’s comments (I’m not smiling as I’m not joking).When asked about the whole “treatment” thing, I was told to trust in the Holy Spirit to take care of the problem. I also heard the comment from a staffer: “if you’re here for treatment, go someplace else.” He did follow this up with “we’re here to meet Jesus.” I’m all for bible study and I love hearing more about Jesus but I’m sorry, bud: I’m here for treatment! That’s why this is called a TREATMENT CENTER!!! morons.
So apparently their version of treatment is to have me attend a two-hour class in the morning, do a half-hours worth of homework, then work on the work-study program (this is cleaning and maintaining the building again, learning how to do basic chores, basic maintenance, being “responsible.”) And of course going to Herr Direktor’s church to build it (he is not helping, he’s just sending us).
At some point, God Apparently will get fed up and intervene, sending the Healing Holy Ghost to take away my affliction at which point I will be slain in the Holy Spirit, receiving my first dose of Holy Ghost Goose Bumps and then I will truly see how the only thing I’m at fault for is being an addict. Everything else is Satan’s fault.Have I mentioned they’re a might Pentacostal in here? Ain’t seen any snakes yet, but I’m waiting…
So Dave, what keeps ya in there? The doors are open from the inside. I could leave, just walk right out. I could, but everyone knows I need to sober up and though I think this place is jacked up mostly, I’ll stay. For the most part this is a year off from life in general; all I have to do is keep my head down when it comes to the rules. Sucks cuz I’m not good at that, but I’m tryin!
We’re still studying Ephesians 6:10-18; the armor of God. That has been interesting so far. Our discussions have covered how to prepare for spiritual battle, what those battles entail, and the nature of the war itself. Like that the war itself was won by Jesus dying on the cross and rising again. But Satan is still waging a guerilla war of terror and skirmishes against Christians everywhere, hence the need for battle preparation.
We also are studying the Proverbs, one chapter a day. Convenient as there are 31 chapters, so Proverbs fits well into the calendar.
Yesterday I was asked to lead the worship service this morning (Wed) as the first ever live worship group for Duluth TC. I was able to get three other guys to join my efforts and I even managed not to tick them off during the process! We played “Holiness,” then “Life Song” and finished with “Breathe.” It went well and we were asked to do it again on April 15th, so that is cool. We are going to keep practicing regularly to be ready any time they want. I’ve also received many comments on how the guys preferred the live band instead of the CD we usually use, so maybe this could become a more regular thing? Who knows. Gotta keep from hitting folks with sticks! LOL.
Carey (Pastor Carey Vik) and Steve (Pastor Steve Cornelius) stopped in today to visit. It was quite fun sitting and conversing with the two of them. Good laughs and not all were at my expense! :) Quite nicely, they brought a 6-pack of soda for me and some of Jana’s homemade cookies (Thanks Jana!) They also brought me a Sony CD player and three CDs!!! It’s very nice to have my own music again. :) That is especially so as we’ve a road trip coming up next week.
Spiritual Emphasis Week. That sounds too much like “spirit fingers” therefore hereafter it shall be referred to as Cheer Week. Gimme my pom-poms and shut up! :) We leave Sunday and will be coming back Friday. Onwards to the Twin Cities for prayer, testimonies, worship and inspirational speakers; and absolutely no talking to members of the opposite sex. Yet another TC rule, not just for Cheer Week! Somehow I think I’ll probably get in trouble next week. I won’t be flirting (yeah: “hey babe, how ‘bout you and I ditch the rehab thing and catch a drink? Oh really? You were a junkie hooker turnin’ tricks for drug money? That’s cool. My liver is now concrete, my kidneys haven’t worked since the Clintons reigned and did I mention I’ve no job?) Yeah, that’ll work. LOL
I’m interested to see how they manage to haul 46 guys 3 hours in a van with no refreshments/food allowed. I see a fistfight coming.
After Carey and Steve left, momma showed up with the steaks we’re donated for Friday’s dinner. She also brought cokes for everybody and some extra snacks for me (string cheese; yay!) The guys asked at dinner if it was me that got the steak for tomorrows’ meal and I wasn’t sure how to answer. I hadn’t wanted to say it was me. I’m not doing it to buy friends, I just wanted a good steak and as they won’t let me out of here for another month and a half to go to a restaurant with friends, I just thought I’d get the steaks here. But apparently the cat’s out of the bag. Oh well.
We had two guys leave this week. Antwon walked on Monday, didn’t say goodbye, just walked out. And Scott, who I’d hoped would play drums for my worship team took off this morning and came back this afternoon obviously having had a few drinks. He was just stopping in to say he wouldn’t be staying. Too bad, he’s hopeless when he’s drinking; as in no work, no bath, no clue drunk.
Which brings me neatly (like the segue?) to the people of the prayer list:
Scott & Antwon: I guess that God would protect them and guide them to the help they need.
Pastor Rachel: She’s still going through rough times at home (details are unknown) and her workload is intense. Strength, wisdom and comfort to start sounds good to me.
Carey’s sister: She went back to the hospital today. She had a panic attack this morning and they may keep her for a bit. Carey’s looking into TC in Mpls for her. Maybe it’d be good? I dunno. Mixed feelings there. She needs comfort for sure and healing. I’m praying God will just put angels in her path with what she needs and that He’ll open her heart to receive that healing and help.
All of us here in “lock up”: As we head out to Cheer Week we’re praying for a safe journey, and that God will open our hearts to receive everything we need through His Holy Spirit.
I’m still fighting everything. I’m at the tail end of 3 weeks here. Only 39 left to go! (If they try to add extra time I’ll probably just leave. They’re getting a year – that’s plenty!) But I do need guidance, strength, comfort, wisdom and patience in trying to stay in TC and aptly running the new worship team. (Job training, what?! Dad’ll be so proud…) LOLOh yes: I’ve been invited to run sound for the Spring Jam and I’m hoping t not just go to run sound but to be able to bring the guys with too as a field trip. The Jam is May 9th so please pray on this too. The TC staff could really use a touch of Generosity Lord! Please?! :)
I love and miss all of you – David
Of All the Supid Things I've Done With My Life (taken from Facebook page dated 3.26.09)
I'm at the one-week mark. Fifty-one or so to go. Yay Me! :(
I know why I signed on for the joyride known as MN Teen Challenge, and I believe God wants me here (no, that's not entirely true. I'm not sure what I believe right now). Most of the time I think I'm here in much the same fashion as the wise owl testing tootsie pops: How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Teen Challenge: How many kicks does it take before Dave hits someone with a stick?
The week (being friday to friday) was certainly interesting: Friday morning I was dropped off by mom and dad and very soon discovered all the things I should've brought with but no one bothered to tell me I needed. That's always nice, especially when the only outings allowed are with the group and they control all the cash (must remember all receipts...) and the next scheduled store run is the next weekend. It's very aggravating to need a few items that are available within one or two blocks but not be allowed (one) anywhere near your cash and (two) outside unless on a scheduled, supervised outing. No Exceptions!
The other fun things about last Friday: I had NOTHING to do. I was told time here was structured. Yeah, not until you've been here three days or so. I even volunteered for chores and was told not to worry about it, "take time, settle in." I moved here with two suitcases of crap. How much time do they expect me to need? I went from two packs of cigs and a drink or two a day to nothing and I didn't even have something to distract me! And the jerks lied when they said I couldn't bring my guitar. Even some of the staff were surprised to hear I was told that. I had to wait till Tuesday to get mom to drop it off.
Ok, It's a day later and I'm in not such a bad mood.It's Sunday and we just had a wedding here! One fella graduated today and celebrated by remarrying his wife. They'd divorced because of his drug habit. She's been very involved in his recovery, counseling and whatnot. It was a nice ceremony and my first sober reception. Too weird.
I was able to get to the store yesterday. We have to go to Target because Walmart sells tobacco. Stupid. Target sells instant coffee and soda. Apparently that's evil too but better than the Walmart tobacco pushers - LOL. So Target it is.
Also mom and dad came to visit. That was a good time. Talked about life here. K, so I bitched the whole time. It was before we'd gone to the store and that was still not a sure thing so I was still ticked. But they brought pizza and coke and a tub of goodies. It was funny too to see dad bring in the 12-pak of coke I asked for, as he knew it was against the rules. :P (They're not good at the contraband supply game...lol!) Though mom did without even realizing. She put EZcheese in the tub of goodies. Aerosol...ever heard of whippits?! Mom's a dealer...LOL! It's ok, she didn't know. I sold the can for a pack of Kools...j/k! :P
I'd write more about the bible study but so far, I've only had one other than chapel and my brain is still screwed from a massive chemical imbalance. So next time...I will try to write more this week and I'm going to attempt to write at least once a week if not more often. Anne will be posting this on my Facebook page...at least until I can get on line myself.
I'm going to add a prayer list, something I'm trying to get in the habit of:
Kyle & Jessica - Kyle is here, Jessica is his wife, 5 months pregnant and having troubles/early contractions, etc. They've also had multiple miscarriages. Pray for health and strength especially.
My Pastor's sister - she is struggling with many things; depression, addiction, etc. Pray for her most I think just to feel the Lord's presence, to know she's not alone and for healing.
Charles, the intern - He needs direction in career. 18 months out of prison, now an addiction counselor, he finished his internship last week at MNTC and isn't sure if they'll keep him on and start paying him or maybe God wants him elsewhere. Pray for God's will to be known.
Pastor Rachel - Rachel is the Administrative Pastor and an addictions counselor here. On one hand, with Charles' possibly just leaving, she'll have to temporarily take over his duties. On the other, MNTC is starting a new 60-day program she'll be heading up so there's even more for her to do. I think just strength, widom, serenity, and just plain not losing her mind would be appropriate! :)
And me - obviously, I'm struggling--that's why I'm here. Beyond the addictions, I'm too cynical about many things, including God right now. I just need help to see His plan, feel His presence. ...And for strength to keep from hitting someone with a stick. Not exactly kidding...
I know why I signed on for the joyride known as MN Teen Challenge, and I believe God wants me here (no, that's not entirely true. I'm not sure what I believe right now). Most of the time I think I'm here in much the same fashion as the wise owl testing tootsie pops: How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Teen Challenge: How many kicks does it take before Dave hits someone with a stick?
The week (being friday to friday) was certainly interesting: Friday morning I was dropped off by mom and dad and very soon discovered all the things I should've brought with but no one bothered to tell me I needed. That's always nice, especially when the only outings allowed are with the group and they control all the cash (must remember all receipts...) and the next scheduled store run is the next weekend. It's very aggravating to need a few items that are available within one or two blocks but not be allowed (one) anywhere near your cash and (two) outside unless on a scheduled, supervised outing. No Exceptions!
The other fun things about last Friday: I had NOTHING to do. I was told time here was structured. Yeah, not until you've been here three days or so. I even volunteered for chores and was told not to worry about it, "take time, settle in." I moved here with two suitcases of crap. How much time do they expect me to need? I went from two packs of cigs and a drink or two a day to nothing and I didn't even have something to distract me! And the jerks lied when they said I couldn't bring my guitar. Even some of the staff were surprised to hear I was told that. I had to wait till Tuesday to get mom to drop it off.
Ok, It's a day later and I'm in not such a bad mood.It's Sunday and we just had a wedding here! One fella graduated today and celebrated by remarrying his wife. They'd divorced because of his drug habit. She's been very involved in his recovery, counseling and whatnot. It was a nice ceremony and my first sober reception. Too weird.
I was able to get to the store yesterday. We have to go to Target because Walmart sells tobacco. Stupid. Target sells instant coffee and soda. Apparently that's evil too but better than the Walmart tobacco pushers - LOL. So Target it is.
Also mom and dad came to visit. That was a good time. Talked about life here. K, so I bitched the whole time. It was before we'd gone to the store and that was still not a sure thing so I was still ticked. But they brought pizza and coke and a tub of goodies. It was funny too to see dad bring in the 12-pak of coke I asked for, as he knew it was against the rules. :P (They're not good at the contraband supply game...lol!) Though mom did without even realizing. She put EZcheese in the tub of goodies. Aerosol...ever heard of whippits?! Mom's a dealer...LOL! It's ok, she didn't know. I sold the can for a pack of Kools...j/k! :P
I'd write more about the bible study but so far, I've only had one other than chapel and my brain is still screwed from a massive chemical imbalance. So next time...I will try to write more this week and I'm going to attempt to write at least once a week if not more often. Anne will be posting this on my Facebook page...at least until I can get on line myself.
I'm going to add a prayer list, something I'm trying to get in the habit of:
Kyle & Jessica - Kyle is here, Jessica is his wife, 5 months pregnant and having troubles/early contractions, etc. They've also had multiple miscarriages. Pray for health and strength especially.
My Pastor's sister - she is struggling with many things; depression, addiction, etc. Pray for her most I think just to feel the Lord's presence, to know she's not alone and for healing.
Charles, the intern - He needs direction in career. 18 months out of prison, now an addiction counselor, he finished his internship last week at MNTC and isn't sure if they'll keep him on and start paying him or maybe God wants him elsewhere. Pray for God's will to be known.
Pastor Rachel - Rachel is the Administrative Pastor and an addictions counselor here. On one hand, with Charles' possibly just leaving, she'll have to temporarily take over his duties. On the other, MNTC is starting a new 60-day program she'll be heading up so there's even more for her to do. I think just strength, widom, serenity, and just plain not losing her mind would be appropriate! :)
And me - obviously, I'm struggling--that's why I'm here. Beyond the addictions, I'm too cynical about many things, including God right now. I just need help to see His plan, feel His presence. ...And for strength to keep from hitting someone with a stick. Not exactly kidding...
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