I'm at the one-week mark. Fifty-one or so to go. Yay Me! :(
I know why I signed on for the joyride known as MN Teen Challenge, and I believe God wants me here (no, that's not entirely true. I'm not sure what I believe right now). Most of the time I think I'm here in much the same fashion as the wise owl testing tootsie pops: How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Teen Challenge: How many kicks does it take before Dave hits someone with a stick?
The week (being friday to friday) was certainly interesting: Friday morning I was dropped off by mom and dad and very soon discovered all the things I should've brought with but no one bothered to tell me I needed. That's always nice, especially when the only outings allowed are with the group and they control all the cash (must remember all receipts...) and the next scheduled store run is the next weekend. It's very aggravating to need a few items that are available within one or two blocks but not be allowed (one) anywhere near your cash and (two) outside unless on a scheduled, supervised outing. No Exceptions!
The other fun things about last Friday: I had NOTHING to do. I was told time here was structured. Yeah, not until you've been here three days or so. I even volunteered for chores and was told not to worry about it, "take time, settle in." I moved here with two suitcases of crap. How much time do they expect me to need? I went from two packs of cigs and a drink or two a day to nothing and I didn't even have something to distract me! And the jerks lied when they said I couldn't bring my guitar. Even some of the staff were surprised to hear I was told that. I had to wait till Tuesday to get mom to drop it off.
Ok, It's a day later and I'm in not such a bad mood.It's Sunday and we just had a wedding here! One fella graduated today and celebrated by remarrying his wife. They'd divorced because of his drug habit. She's been very involved in his recovery, counseling and whatnot. It was a nice ceremony and my first sober reception. Too weird.
I was able to get to the store yesterday. We have to go to Target because Walmart sells tobacco. Stupid. Target sells instant coffee and soda. Apparently that's evil too but better than the Walmart tobacco pushers - LOL. So Target it is.
Also mom and dad came to visit. That was a good time. Talked about life here. K, so I bitched the whole time. It was before we'd gone to the store and that was still not a sure thing so I was still ticked. But they brought pizza and coke and a tub of goodies. It was funny too to see dad bring in the 12-pak of coke I asked for, as he knew it was against the rules. :P (They're not good at the contraband supply game...lol!) Though mom did without even realizing. She put EZcheese in the tub of goodies. Aerosol...ever heard of whippits?! Mom's a dealer...LOL! It's ok, she didn't know. I sold the can for a pack of Kools...j/k! :P
I'd write more about the bible study but so far, I've only had one other than chapel and my brain is still screwed from a massive chemical imbalance. So next time...I will try to write more this week and I'm going to attempt to write at least once a week if not more often. Anne will be posting this on my Facebook page...at least until I can get on line myself.
I'm going to add a prayer list, something I'm trying to get in the habit of:
Kyle & Jessica - Kyle is here, Jessica is his wife, 5 months pregnant and having troubles/early contractions, etc. They've also had multiple miscarriages. Pray for health and strength especially.
My Pastor's sister - she is struggling with many things; depression, addiction, etc. Pray for her most I think just to feel the Lord's presence, to know she's not alone and for healing.
Charles, the intern - He needs direction in career. 18 months out of prison, now an addiction counselor, he finished his internship last week at MNTC and isn't sure if they'll keep him on and start paying him or maybe God wants him elsewhere. Pray for God's will to be known.
Pastor Rachel - Rachel is the Administrative Pastor and an addictions counselor here. On one hand, with Charles' possibly just leaving, she'll have to temporarily take over his duties. On the other, MNTC is starting a new 60-day program she'll be heading up so there's even more for her to do. I think just strength, widom, serenity, and just plain not losing her mind would be appropriate! :)
And me - obviously, I'm struggling--that's why I'm here. Beyond the addictions, I'm too cynical about many things, including God right now. I just need help to see His plan, feel His presence. ...And for strength to keep from hitting someone with a stick. Not exactly kidding...
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